The only allowed sexual position is the missionary-style position.
It is against the law for a husband to curse or talk dirty during sex.
It's illegal for a man to fire off a gun when his female partner has reached orgasm.
It's safe to make love in a parked car. Police officers aren't allowed to come up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn 3 times and wait approximately 2 minutes before getting out of his vehicle to investigate.
It's against the law to make love while hunting or fishing on a wedding day.
It is legal to have sex with an animal — unless performed for profit. It is not considered sodomy.
If you have sex with a prostitute, by law, you have to wear a condom.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the odor of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath. If his wife so requests, law states that he must brush his teeth.
It is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one minor exception: birth control can be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
All sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown – if they're nude- is illegal.
Two pigs having sex on Kingsville airport property is illegal.
It's against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.
It is illegal to masterbate while watching two people have sex in a car.
Dogs and cats cannot have sex without a permit.
Women must never wear corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
These might be fairly ancient laws, but most are still in existence. Know of any others in your state? Put them in the comments.